Constructive Criticism,

DPTD from Troy Nicholson, min, CENTRAL CHURCH OF CHRIST, 797 Spring St., Hwy 49, Charlotte, TN 37036



One thing that makes couples feel distant is criticism.

One person, or maybe both,

               seems to be always pick, pick picking!

               finding fault

That could also apply

               to almost any other relationship.

On the other hand, is criticism always a curse,

               or could it sometimes be a blessing?

Is there no such thing

               as constructive criticism?

Did you ever try to offer some constructive criticism,

               but the other person

               didn't take it exactly the way you meant it?

Instead of appreciating your criticism,

               or at least your effort and good will,

               they took it negatively and became defensive.

1.  Our criticism ought to begin with ourselves.

·        Mt. 7:1-5 - Jesus says to begin by correcting ourselves.

7:1 ”Do not judge lest you be judged.

        2 “For in the way you judge, you will be judged;

        and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you.

3 “And why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye,

        but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?

4 “Or how can you say to your brother,

        ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’

        and behold, the log is in your own eye?

5 “You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye,

        and then you will see clearly

        to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.


·      Just imagine the comedy in seeing someone with a literal log

        proceeding from their eye

        trying to help someone else with a speck in their eye.


One time I had a speck of sawdust in my eye.

I had been working with a radial-arm saw

        building some workbenches.

My eye had an allergic reaction

        and the white of my eyeball to swelled up

I was alarmed, to say the least.

        and I was grateful to have Betty

                       to help me find it

                       and try to get it out.

2.  Is it always wrong to say something critical?

Thumper in the movie, Bambi

                       "If you can't say something nice,

                                      don't say anything at all."

                              Is that always the best advice?

Have you ever been with someone in a car

                       when they didn't see some danger.

        Do you stay silent

                       for fear of being critical of their driving?

        You'll probably say, "Look out!"

·      Are you helping or harming them if you speak out?

                       We all need help seeing our blind spots.

·      Of course, Bambi doesn't have the same authority

                       as the Bible.

Pr. 27:6  "Faithful are the wounds of a friend.

But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy."


·      When a doctor operates on someone,

                       it results in a wound.

·      Those who have open-heart surgery

                       will have a scar up their chest

                       that will be there the rest of their lives.

·      Wouldn't that be a faithful wound?

·      What if a doctor was afraid of wounding someone

                       and never told them of their need

                       to have the surgery done?

·      A true friend will tell us something we need

                                      even it it hurts at the time,

                       That's a faithful wound.

Lk. 17:3 - "If your brother sins against you, rebuke him."


II Tim. 4:2 - Paul says to "reprove, rebuke, & exhort."


Rom. 15:14.  Paul commended them for being able to admonish

14 And concerning you, my brethren,

        I myself also am convinced

        that you yourselves are full of goodness,

        filled with all knowledge,

        and able also to admonish one another.

DEFINING TERMS  "admonish"

1. To reprove mildly or kindly

        but seriously. 

2. To counsel against something; to caution. 

]3. To point out something forgotten or disregarded,

        by means of a warning, reproof, or exhortation.


Adverse criticism intended to correct.

        Admonish stresses advising or warning

                       so that a fault may be made right

                       or a danger avoided.

        Reprove usually implies gentle criticism

                       and constructive intent.

        Rebuke refers to sharp,

                       usually angry, criticism,

        as does reprimand,

                       which often also implies

                       an official or otherwise formal act.